Thursday 19 November 2015

The unhealthy impact of poor customer service

Rarely I physically go shopping, it's a great effort and I am forever having to problem solve and work round hurdles. 

However, I needed to do some business banking and buy mounting board for a charitable project I am involved in. I psyched myself up, borrowed OH car, ( easier for hoisting scooter) and off I went.

First hurdle finding a disabled space with chevrons by the side, to enable me to open my door wide - easier said than done in the large car park.

First stop Metro bank where as always I feel a dog is more esteemed than me. The front doors are not automated. So unless there is a friendly customer entering at the same time I struggle to open the heavy door with one arm while manoeuvring my scooter with the other. Once inside I see dog bowls, as a welcome along with doggy treats on the counter. Fortunately they are not in a dogs reach, mind you neither are they in mine. The scooter is very high, at most people's chest height so up I crane my neck up to pay the chequers in when the assistant looks down at her computer I just see the top of her head. The young woman speaks to me her voice floats over my head I am unable to hear. So I have to ask her to look down at me and repeat what she says, I can see she is reaching on tip toes. I wonder what a child feels as well as other disabled peers when faced with granite slabs. I go out with staff rushing to open the door for me. It is disappointing that in this moder world simple things, like automated front doors, matching the automated internal ones, a door bell to ring for assistance. And a banking desk that has one end lowered to be able to speak face to face with children and those in wheelchairs would be a given, rather than dog  bowls and treats. 

Next stop T K Max, a friend has been raving about this particular store so I thought why not, I found a fab dress - shall I take it home and try it crossed my mind, but no I decided to make the effort and headed for the changing rooms and was so into a generous sized changing room with seat and grab rails, excellent, undressed and with dress on I looked into the mirror.... Well the shop fitter deemed that disabled people would be either "little people" or that they would be completely paralysed as the mirror ended at my chest. No walking stick with me, I wasn't about to try and find another mirror. Fed this back to the assistant in charge of the fitting room, who said " when I paid for my items there would be a feedback form on the back of my receipt" - my purse was firmly staying shut, so that was that. 

Still in the mood for a Christmas dress, I popped next door to Next, I felt I was in a forest of clothes and couldn't see the wood from the trees so to speak. A quick exit, as I then did from Laura Ashley, same problem and nobody around to assist. 

Sunday 15 November 2015

Another Week

7:30 AM and it is Monday morning, it's dark and wet outside and frankly all I want to do is hibernate. 

So today I am longing for a Kate Stubbs hug..... She was the only person who gave me unconditional love as a child. 

Being with her blue my troubles and worries away for just a little while. 

Started the day with my tummy in spasm and then the consequences of that....

I've managed a few tidy up chores and come back to bed with my second cup of tea well actually my third - didn't put a teavag in the pot for my second. 

My good hip hurts - consequence of Friday's treatment I hope. 

I started writing this many weeks ago and today is Thursday and I could honestly say, it is demand vous apart from we swap dark and wet for dull and cold. 

There is deathly silence, I have yet to switch the radio on, and I don't know why I have not, the few words I have said today, was firstly early to my OH reassuring me that the elderly cat was ok, and now a one way conversation with the cats ... Who other than second breakfast really want their zzz's 

Part of me craves this silence, the other half despairs of the feelings of social isolation it raises. Going out takes both energy and money neither of which are in plentiful supply at the moment. I have written this week about keeping going.... And I have 

Tuesday, I spent the day in the study, not as planned .... The diary said Mr Borrow My Doggy in the afternoon and then I had found the mindfulness course I need to do, and that started that night... Good I felt, I would be getting vit D by being out with the dog and then upwards and onwards with my drive to reserect my working life was on track... Then with a phonecall and text, I was derailed...... Course was post phoned as not enough numbers and I wasn't needed to doggy sit... Ok not a problem... I could concentrate on admin and other income streams.

The house was full of life the cleaner was here, and OH was working from home... 

Then OH proposed a date, cinema and supper, but then was postponed as we had forgotten Mr O the grocery delivery, planned because I was out.... 

So I was allowed to sofa surf and catch up on TV let's say Casulty and Vera were not cheerful watching! We did find "mobile phone sales idol" which was rather compelling watching and was really interesting especially about how parents expectations can have a real impact on your mental wellbeing.

Radio on Paul O'Grady and a bowl of hot "shr3ddies" miss kitten is staying close hoping to lick the bowl.

Wednesday was a slow start, and not just me, Mr Big Boy ( cat ) curled up between my legs and I really didn't want to crawl from my pit. However, church and Dad called, showered I realised that window cleaner had arrived, shot out to church and found I was the only one in the congregation, I am never sure whether this is a privilege or not. However, the curate was able to share the sermon she had prepared. Then I shot off down the motorway to Dad, went to the jewellers and had lunch, microwave was passed across and then finally I got my eyebrows plucked!!! 

Home to tea and Mr Big Boy with a poorly bum again.... 

Managed another half day work admin.

My Dad's parting words to me was get someone to lift it in for you its heavy, well it's amazing what two disabled people, two trolleys and stubbornness can achieve. Now the joys of a tip run.....

Microwave in place, after a mini kitchen reorganisation and it was pressed into use, for supper, left overs for JB soup for me. 

TV tonight was Midsummer Murder and knitting.

Both cats wanted to be in bed with us last night, but kitten was jealous and didn't want Mr Big Boy, I on the other hand started to panic... I have this great fear, that a cat will die in bed with us. We slept alone last night...





Wednesday 14 October 2015

The Dull Ache of Friendship Rejection


There are days when I have to remember this poem

People come into your life for a reason, a season or lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON.
It is usually to meet in need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
To provide you with guidance and support;
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. 

Some people come into your life for SEASON,
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. 
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They used to give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season. 

LIFETIME relationship teach you lifetime lessons;
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. 
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. 
It is said love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Hormones are racing and it makes truck in my life even harder.

Last night I had the opportunity to see an old friend, somebody who once was important part of my life. However as the poem goes seasons change chapters close and we have not seen each other for five years and the last time, conversations were okay but I didn't get that feeling of old friends picking up where you left off we were merely acquaintances.

I have never been in the in the circle of their friends, although they were for me in mine. So when my sell by date expired (marriage for them) I was left out in the cold. Ironically they had met a couple of my friends and they had infiltrated there in the circle.

I have been debating whether to go to the event where our paths would cross I knew I would feel both feel very awkward and be reminded of that feeling of rejection.

So I decide to take positive steps firstly I decided not to attend the event. I decided if they contacted me to say they were up the road was I going. I would make a decision at that point; there has been no contact. I seeked out this poem to remind me that some people are here for just the season and therefore to make a point today to remember the times when I really appreciated them in my life and give thanks for them at that particular time. Hoping that the process of being thankful will heal the dull ache of loss. 


Monday 14 September 2015

What's making me so grumpy and wishing to quarrel with everyone who crosses my path

What is making me short of patience, irritable and angry with the world?

I am still off sick.
I am often in pain and have high fatigue levels 
I am not earning any income 
I/we are in debt 
We have no spare cash for a social life 
I enjoy making doing and mending but at times it's hard not to be able to easily renew worn out things. 
I do not feel of value 
I feel like all my energy is focused on completing chores 
I feel I am not pulling my weight 
I would be happy - keeping house, reading, crafting, volunteering, gardening, projects if I had a small private income to contribute to maintaining a reasonable quality of life 
I am inwardly angry with my parents who have never really recognised the consequences of a disabled child and treating me as "normal" now has major consequences.
I did not want a Pilates spine corrector as my birthday present but knew this was the only way of getting it. Expensive but it will help my back. 
I am frustrated that I am not using my academic achievements - did I achieve them for nothing? 

Thursday 10 September 2015

Waving Goodbye to Complaint Letters

Two virtual bombs landed in my home the day before yesterday... It made me see red, and made me ill and impacted sourly on the eve of my birthday. 

Reflecting today I am sad as other people's assumptions, opinions and actions need not have made this impact on me. 

My initial response was want to "shout" back and respond to their responses. Tell them how unhappy I am with their responses. 

I am of course completely frustrated because they cannot comprehend what it is like to be me, and the impact that failures in their products and services have actually severly impacted my life. Let's face it, nobody can know what it feels like to be you. There are some who can emphasise greatly and you feel that they just get it, sadly though they are in the minority. 

This is the first day of my 47th year, and I want to #doitbetter. So I am going to file the responses. I am not even going to re read it. 

Then I am going to vote with my feet.... 

Dear TGA - I am not going to promote you to anyone, and when I need to look for a replacement I will be looking elsewhere. 

Dear BA - If I can choose any other airline but yours I will 

Next time I want to write constructive feedback... I am going to walk away .... Remind me 

Monday 24 August 2015

Grumpy woman update - Edinburgh Tattoo

I did indeed send the email and after several days I got a reply.

I read it a couple of times and then passed it to my OH to also read.

His response was well they just didn't get it did they? He then went on to say well at least you ate your feelings!

Well that I did and sadly I don't think they'll make any changes but at least I said something and now I lay it down to rest.

Thursday 20 August 2015

When you know every step of the day will be a struggle

So I finally raise my sleepy head at 8.45 this morning and groan I wanted to be in the small shopping centre near to Mr BMD by 9am to have a leisurely coffee and get milk .... That's 15 mins away. 

So with the briefest of a lick and a polish I'm out the door with Mr Cat not happy as I've only given him the briefest of attentions - will have to make up for it later - but then again he will do rolly pollys on the floor when bending down is not easy. He's missed his duvet cuddle๐Ÿ˜—

So here I am with a small latte in front of me - pleased I hadn't chosen something to go with it - as instead of my free treat that I expected I had to find pennies ๐Ÿ˜ฃ  - wrong card 

The small walk through the centre was 165 steps and I struggled with pain every step of the way. Passing both the charity and health shops which I really want to go into but I need to keep my spoons for the supermarket and milk. Mission completed but later I remember I forgot lemons ๐Ÿ˜•.

So I have a brief respite in the open air when I scoot out with Mr BMD even if at times he pulls my arms out of their sockets. 

Massage was painful only made easier by the interesting conversation. 

The afternoon and evening are fuzzy due to the blur of fatigue and feelings of despair about the life I now lead.... 

Thursday 13 August 2015

Fatigue Fairy has waved her wand

I feel that I am wading again through nothing less. Since getting back from Edinburgh, I have struggled with every waking hour, and feel that I have achieved little.

Despite OH being here until today reassuring me that I was doing ok, my head and my heart feel completely different.....

On Wednesday I sat on the sofa watching TV, I though wasn't idle in the true sense of the word, as I ad an embroidery project to do as a Thank you present and I completed half of it. I also wanted to bake and I made some cookies using left over ingredients ( peanut butter and ground almonds) and I read. The guilt though is this damp cloud around me. 

We concluded simply we are asset rich and cash poor, so this damp cloud comprises of me acknowledging its a working day, and I am doing activities that would be considered as leisure, not as there were for me on Wednesday some way of me being productive...

Thursday a new day, following a day of rest I will feel zippy and ready to achieve much more - fat chance screams my inner voice. 

I'm still wrapped in a towel when Mr Borrow My Doggy arrives, and for the next hour and half it's mayhem, firstly I tackle the rest of the washing up as promised from the night before, OH had imparted that dear Mr BMD had had the runs since eating cat food the day before, so you can imagine my thoughts when having shut him out of the main carpeted area, I found him in my carpeted study doing his business. Superman OH came to the rescue apparently the smell was the worse bit! I had clothes everywhere in the bedroom dirty piles and clean from unpacking all had to disappear before Mr Sports massage arrived. 

Thankfully neat and tidy bedroom was ready when the doorbell rung, I want to say the next hour was blissful, but my muscles were so tight, it was painful. 

Afterwards felt so washed out Mr BMD and I curled up on the bed, and I started the book club book ... Ian McEwan The Children's Act an interesting and turns out to be a quick read, I had finished it in under 24 hours.

The rest of the day was back on the sofa again....... 


Wednesday 12 August 2015

To Email or not to Email - that is the debate

Sometimes when things irritate me, my first response is wanting to give feedback.... As a person with a disability this can be constant and so then are you labelled a criticiser or a campaigner? 

Despite the ups and downs of Monday morning.... We got to the Tattoo on Monday night and our friends had got us very good seats in the block in the middle - fabulous views of the arena... Settled we began to listen to the jolly commentator until he said something to make both my OH and I skin crawl and for once my mild mannered OH commented that he felt patronised. 

The warmed voiced commentator needing to fill the time, was welcoming people and he began my focusing his attention, on those 'special people' in front of the stands - those of us in wheelchairs. Sadly you could tell that the commentator was of an age where, those with disabilities were to be pitied and when attending an event like this, as if it was a major achievement and something special, a "a treat" 

So of course I spent the next few hours writing an email in my head to the organisers......

Dear Sir, 

During our stay in Edinburgh over last weekend to visit friends, they had kindly arranged tickets to the tattoo. We throughly enjoyed such a magnificent event, everyone working so hard to make it such a success. 

I would though like to draw attention to a few minutes that made my husband and I feel very uncomfortable and patronised. We were enjoying the welcome your warm and friendly commentator was giving until, he decided to welcome those "special people in the front of the stands", realisation dawned on us that he was not singling us out because we had crossed the border, or it was our birthdays or the fact I am a health professional (occupational therapist) and my husband a Business analyst, no the way it was presented was asking the abled bodied audience to especially welcome the wheelchair audience as if attending an event such as this was a major achievement and something special "a treat" in as much one would experience a pat on the head. 

In the 21st century and in an age where returning injured veterans and others want to feel that thay are considered the equals to their peers it is ironical that the barrier to feeling on equal footing was not the built environment of the tatto seating which was was designed to blend the audience in every shape and size, but in the perception of the commentator however well intentioned it may have been. May we ask that you share with him how we felt, and that in future, singling out the grand old gentleman of 99 is right and proper, but not the 40 something professional individuals who just happen to be using wheelchairs. 

Once again we thank you for a marvellous evening and we home to time our next visit to come again. 

Kind regards 

 


Monday 10 August 2015

Monday Morning Scooter Blues

So the saga continues ..... 

I am trying to hold it together... I'm sitting in the lovely bar of our hotel - the Apex Waterloo..... Stranded 

Turn back the clock just over 24 hours - I had struggled out of bed, rejiggered plans, had had a yummy but expensive breakfast and had found a hip and trendy  wool shop where I could disappear to for a couple of hours on my own... 

Off I scooted up the main road ..... Appreciating Regents Park and the regency buildings on my travels ..... Despite non existent drop curbs and mixed quality of roads and pavements I arrived at a little place of heaven "Ginger Twist Studio" and had a really happy half hour nattering about craft and just a spot of retail therapy. 

Back on my wheels again.... Heading back within 5 minutes my scooter had stalled and refused to go.... Where had it chosen ... In the middle of the London road with two lanes of on coming traffic about to come behind me as the lights changed....... 

So my body already not at its best switched into fight or flight mode and adrenalin kicked in, and my right hemiplegia body went into spasm.... Fortunately girl power appeared with a friendly young woman who helped me disengage the motor and freewheel then lift it back onto the pavement. 

Waving her off, I tried to remain calm, and went into re - engage mode lifting out the battery and firmly putting it back in place - joy - the little green light no longer blinked and shone merrily at me.... On I got moved off round the corner and with a shudder it stalled again. This time I could feel the adrenalin still running through my veins leap - I got on my hands knees to get nearer to the battery compartment ( no easy feat) disengage scooter , battery in out firmly push into place, try again, green light flashing no joy, repeat, repeat, no joy. I give in..... 

Telephone call to taxi company to rescue me, I am alone, unable to go anywhere in the middle of a pavement, in not the nicest of places and feeling unwell with a spasmed body, high anxiety levels and feeling very vulnerable. Desperately trying to keep hold of my dignity as in these circumstances part of my condition means I cannot easily regulate my emotions. 

Then the hour of hell .... The first taxi promised in 10 minutes was cancelled after two phone and 40 minutes later - not to mention the young women who sat in the car in front of me running their engine for 20 minutes making phone calls until in desperation I knocked on their window and said their petrol fumes were turning me green ... Finally after an hour I was rescued - 5 minutes later I was back in the hotel £8 poorer and ordering a stiff drink as I hadn't dared have water as when I have to go I have to go....

I retired to bed, wired on adrenalin, really emotional, body in spasm and really angry with the world and my poor husband. 

The day was effectively written off .... 

I swapped my afternoon out with friends and my romantic dinner for a half hour massage ( another unplanned £45 ) to try and release my spasm. A glass of vino and fish and chips in the bar.

I didn't want to think about my scooter... My OH patiently cleaned the battery compartment and locked the battery back succeeding to get the green light.... 

It was with mixed feelings and trepidation I sat back on the scooter this morning but after a few blinks the green light glowed ... Off I set lift, stair lift out the front door and then stalled fortunately 5 metres from the front door, the process of disengaging etc started again - no joy. 

With sinking heart my day in tatters  I free wheeled it back into the front door at 9am this morning... 

It's now 11.30am I've just had a cuppa and a sandwich... Having planned to have brekkie out and by the time we had sorted an alternative plan of action.We decided to go and get some breakfast we found they had stopped serving but would offer to a Continental for the princely sum of £16 ahead! so 50 minutes later, we were able to order a sandwich at the bar and my sugar levels have levelled out... 

The TGA engineer has just telephoned to say he will be with us in an hour but does not carry parts! 

An Edinburgh mobility hire shop is about to deliver a scooter which will need charging but will have me mobile again by 2pm and will get me at least to the tattoo tonight - - princely sum of £68 for 24hrs but does include deliver and collection ..... 

We now are considering posting the scooter home and having to get a taxi home from Kings Cross as tomorrow will have to rely on my legs... 

I wanted an adventure on the train but I wasn't bargaining on this one..... 




Why blog.......

Dear diary and anticipated readers 

Mini moaner was my childhood nickname and although it was affectionate it had a barbed meaning. I was brought up not to moan and make the best of things, to be thankful for my lot and just get on with it. 

Well that's all very well, but I'm not the healthiest of people having been born with cerebral palsy and I confess now although a blonde I was a fierce redhead in a previous life and my temper is I am ashamed to say quite explosive at times.... 

A great example is yesterday .....

We are away for a long weekend in a fab new city. Friends also live here....although for access reasons are staying in a hotel rather than with them. 

Yesterday morning I was due to meet my female counterpart at church ... Then spend the afternoon with them before a romantic dinner for two in a lovely looking restaurant. 

What happened ..... I spent it mostly in my hotel room, raving and crying in alternative spurts. What were the triggers ..... A virus still in my body, chronic fatigue, my mobility scooter broke down.... And my OH and I not singing from the same hymn sheet. 

It was not a good day and I hate it... 

So out of something crap comes something positive.... I'm going to write to you and see if it helps me in the outside world....